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Specimen A - Code Z

:iconsansaii:

Desolate blue
Lifestream infused
I reach out to you
Soundless

Almost there...
Almost out.

Together we'll make it

Were we wrong from the start?
Walking over corpses
They're holding us down
They're holding you blind

Can you see me?
Is this only your shell I hold?
Is this what it means to fight?

We'll make it out
We'll make it free

As long as I keep holding
Whatever's left of you
We'll escape this war
We'll escape this disease

I won't leave you hanging
We're friends, aren't we?

I'll hold on to you
I'll hold you

I won't let them have you
I won't let it take you

Over my dead body!
5 Comments
:iconsansaii:
;-;

Ok, so I wrote this at work because:

1) I have to write a poem for my Creative Writing class

2) I HAD to write a poem about Final Fantasy VII because... yanno... today is not only the release of Crisis Core, but the tenth anniversary of Final Fantasy VII

3) I... love... Zax... ;-;
I don't think I gave him justice AT ALL in this poem because I'm simply a crappy poet... but I hope I at least got something through.... ;-; (Cloud's side is in the process of being written as well)


I don't think I want to go into great depth, but I do want to say that this is one of the first serious poems I've ever written, and even though I'm a beginner, I would truly appreciate any kind of critique you could offer. Seriously, please be brutal! I would love to know what I could do to improve this in any way possible.

I did want it to be a more informally written/experimental style of poetry because I thought it would be more appropriate for Zax than something that's very formally structured and with a very rigid rhyme scheme. I simply don't see that as fitting his character. Plus, considering the situation that he's in... I wanted it to reflect the feelings he must have had running through his head while he was trying to keep his cool on the outside in front of Cloud in the state that he was in....

I might go home and update it if I get new ideas. I have no idea what it means to finish a poem, because like I said, I'm a beginner... and again because of that, I would REALLY love constructive critique. Please? ;-;

P.S.

This poem is the "other side" of
[link]

Thank you for reading *bow*
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:iconmezcase:
~mezcase Sep 14, 2007
Stelllaaaaa...omfg. I love this times like...a million.
<3
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:iconsansaii:
~Sansaii Sep 14, 2007
uaah <3 !
I'm happy you like this too!

Thank you for commenting~ I really appreciate it.

^____^
Reply
:iconai-kun:
~Ai-kun Sep 13, 2007
HOLY
HELL
I
LOVE
YOU

WILL U B MY BEST FRIEND :heart:
: D
Reply
:iconsansaii:
~Sansaii Sep 13, 2007
;-; <33

I'm really happy you liked it!
Is there anything I could change it make it better?
I really respect your opinion... like alot.

And the ending wasn't too sappy was it? I wanted to make it ironic and jarring, but I wasn't sure if that worked or if it was just full of lame... ;-;

And i will totly b ur best friend! :heart: (holy shit, I honestly JUST figured out how to make that heart! XD )
Reply
:iconai-kun:
~Ai-kun Sep 13, 2007
No it wasn't no worries
xD

andohgodursmert
xD
Reply
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